ah, this blog should be a place for sharing some kind of goodness, not something that useless. But what I could write right now is about my fears, may bad, my confusion about my own life. May be doesn't have any advantage for other people. but this is what I'm thinking right now.
a couple weeks ago, I read a book, about "nikmatnya pacaran setelah pernikahan" and also I have posted that book on this blog. It much more changes, more precisely, remind me again about my religion rules.
It such a big "alarm" for me. remind me that what I did along this time is something that makes me far away from My God and his grace. but as time goes by, I don't read again that book, that "reminder" seems become far away again. And I always realize it if I have done the sin. Always. Then regretfully think about what I've done, but after that I did again, again and again.
This regret become useless. I do disappointed with my self, why I couldn't hard to fight this lust while I already now about the rules. Should I life far away from this crowd ?
oh God, give me strength to fight all this, I want be on Your side, on Your grace. Live base on Your rules and Your Rasul sunnah. aaminn ya robbal aalamiinnnn
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